When You're in a Relationship: Follow Your Gut

How many times have you heard "man I had that gut feeling all along...wish I would have listened to it". Our instincts and gut feelings are rarely wrong, here are some doubts you shouldn't ignore:

1) Doubting they're the one.

2) Doubting they are 100% loyal.

3) Doubting they will change.

4) Doubting if you are truly in love.

5) Doubting they respect you.

6) Doubting that they will put you first.

7) Doubting that they're honest.

8) Doubting that you will be happy 20+ years down the road.

9) Doubting that they can't leave you.

10) Doubting their intentions.

You might also what to read about Advice You Shouldn't Always Listen To

When You're Single: Get More From a Tinder Match

The problem with Tinder is that it's too easy. We go 0-100 matches real quick, and then 1 month later we realize we're still single, we've barely dated, and we keep receiving annoying messages. Here's how everyone should use this app, stop wasting time, and hopefully find love.

1) Don't engage in a million conversations. Too much to handle. Too time consuming. And you will get nowhere.

2) Don't quit a convo too fast. Ok so it's a bit boring at the beginning - because ^ we're all consumed by 200 other convos - which is why most convos tend to last 5 lines, and get you absolutely nowhere.

3) Ask the right questions. Don't ask "what's up". The reply will be "not much you?" and the convo will pretty much end right there. Don't treat this like MSN Messenger. This is a DATING app. Get to know the person and figure out if they're what you're looking for ASAP.

4) If you're not feeling it, STOP TALKING TO THEM. Just be polite and tell them they're not exactly your type. No need to keep convos going for nothing.

5) Finally, the most important: as I said in the Tinder Tips Post, GO ON A DATE ASAP. If you wait too long, it's just never gonna happen, so whether you're a guy or girl, ask to meet the person within 2 weeks of talking, and in a public place of course #safetyfirst

10 Red Flags No One Should Ignore

Whether you're single, dating, or in a relationship, there are signs you definitely should not ignore. What you decide to do about them, is still up to you of course #wakeupplease, but acknowledging some will hopefully help you avoid wasting your time.

1) They're not sure about what they're looking for. Give me a break. Why are you on a DATE if you're looking to stay single?!

2) They just got out of a relationship. If it's really recent, stay away.

3) They've dated a friend. First, girl/guy code is a real thing. Second, don't you already know a bit too much shit about them? Third, really? is there no one else?

4) The bar/club is their second home. Wild guess: they are not looking for something serious.

5) On their cell all the time. Chances are they're obsessed with themselves and their number of followers.

6) Workaholic. Get ready for the "I'm too busy" excuse.

7) Lifestyle opposites. You're a gym freak and they have a completely different definition of a "6-pack". I would just say don't catch feelings too fast.

8) They always cancel last minute. Clearly they playin'

9) They live far away. Long distance never works and I will definitely write a whole post about that.

10) They suck in bed. It's not gonna change. Your preferences most likely do not match at all, and you can read more about that here.

When You're in a Relationship: 10 Keys to Success

We all know the basics of what makes a good relationship: trust, communication, loyalty...etc. Unfortunately, people are f**king complicated, and very unpredictable, so here are some tips on how to successfully manage your partnership with another human being.

1) Never stop getting to know your partner. Most of us aren't even done getting to know ourselves, so there's just no chance that you know every single thing about them no matter how long you've been together.

2) Respect. This is a HUGE one, and unfortunately it gets ignored way too often. This is something that NEEDS to be applied to literally every single aspect of your relationship, even during the worst times. We all fight, but fighting in a respectful manner can make a big difference. Furthermore, no one is better than anyone else, so always treat your partner as an equal; and if you think you are better than them, don't let the door hit you on your way out :)

3) Express your sexual preferences. You wanna have sex more often? Then ask for it, or even better, initiate it. You like certain things a lot? Then say it. Also, returning the favour is always nice.

4) More on sex: make sure your sexual preferences MATCH. Some people don't need to have sex often, and it may not mean anything more than that. However, it may cause issues if you're a nympho. It's really important to find someone who is on the same sexual wavelength as you.

5) When you argue, emphasize how YOU feel. It's easy to point fingers, accuse, and insult. But give the whole "I feel _____ when you _____" formula a try. It should make your arguing more productive.

6) ALWAYS make your s/o feels special. Express that they make you happy. Tell them that they are the best thing that happened to you. Tell them that everyday you are grateful you met them; and don't forget to show them by always being caring and attentive to their needs. BTW notice how none of these things require money?

7) On the money topic...(this is a tricky one). My advice would mainly be to just not have any expectations. Both people should enjoy treating the other here and there, and at the end of the day the bills should be split according to incomes. One thing is for sure, there needs to be honest communication about this, and I would say the earlier, the better.

8) Don't let your past haunt you, and your partner. It's normal to have reservations at the beginning of any relationship and keeping your guard up. But not letting yourself be vulnerable after a few months will most likely just push the other person away. Learn from your past, and learn to embrace it. Don't make your partner pay for your ex's mistakes, and run the risk of sabotaging your relationship.

9) Accept and support all their hobbies and interests. You may not like that certain hobby yourself, but it's not your place to tell your partner what they can and can't do/like.

10) Make your s/o a top priority. Do not be too busy for them. If you have a stacked schedule, make time for them, and a lot of time. If you still can't manage to fit them in your life, stop wasting their time, and have fun being single for the rest of your life.

When You're Single: Social Media Etiquette with People in Relationships

In case you still just dont get it:

1) Do not like and/or comment on every picture of someone (of the opposite sex) who is clearly TAKEN.

2) Do not constantly message them, especially when they don't even reply? Like WTF goes through your head seriously. #stage5clinger

3) When you add someone, and they ignore your request, do not add them again. Aren't you at all embarrassed?

4) When you see 5+ couple pictures, do not ask them if they are single. I would, however, recommend visiting an optometrist.

If you're in a relationship and you're still getting harassed constantly, you should probably check out my post about Social Media Rules in a Relationship .

When You're in a Relationship: Advice You Shouldn't Always Listen To

Your friends have your best interest at heart, but sometimes the advice they can give you may not be the advice you need.

1) "You have so much history together, you're for sure going to get married" How about...no. A lot of history does not equal getting married, especially if that history is bad. Sometimes two people just don't fit, and it doesn't matter how long you've been together.

2) "Eventually they will change/grow up" I'd say that most people don't change. As for growing up, it may take quite longer than you think/never happen.

3) "Just don't say anything. Wait until they text/call first" If you have something to say, say it. Also keep in mind sometimes your s/o may not know WHAT to say. Silent treatments are a waste of time, just express your feelings.

4) "They're such an a-hole. You deserve so much better" Let's face it, no one else but you truly knows what went down and how you feel in your relationship. Also, sometimes friends don't realize how much you really care about your s/o. Everyone makes mistakes, and shit is always gonna happen anyways, with anyone. At the end of the day, only YOU know if your relationship is right for you or not.

5) "Be careful, things are moving so fast between you two" Please, tell me, when did your friend become an expert on how long to wait before taking "serious steps"? The way I see it, if you're meeting the parents, or moving in with your s/o...etc, it means you're A)falling in love and B)wanting to see if your relationship REALLY works. Only YOU can know when you're ready, and no one can or should judge the speed your relationship is moving at.

6) "There's plenty of other fish in the sea" True. But finding someone compatible to your personality, who makes you laugh,  and with whom you have great sexual chemistry among other things, can be really hard to find. Sometimes working through disagreements, communicating honestly, and compromising, can definitely be worth it. Also, no one likes break ups.

When You're Single: Stop The Mind Games

Dating has gotten so complicated because there are so many ridiculously stupid rules that apparently people "have" to follow. Newsflash, most of them won't get you anywhere, and will probably keep you single. Here's how you can smarten the f*ck up:

1) There is no "texting back timeframe". Of course we are all busy, but I think replying 10 hours later just makes anyone look like a fool. If you're not interested, then just don't text back at all, ever. If you are interested, FYI, replying quickly in a conversation in no way makes you seem like a clinger, nor does it make us think you're in love with us. It's just polite.

2) Still on the texting subject; when you're dating/seeing/talking to someone, there should not be days when you text and days when you dont. If you didn't feel like talking at all thursday, then do not send a text friday night at 10pm. Furthermore, if you are at the receiving end of this kind of nonsense, do not reply, this person is an asshole, and they are not interested - stop lying to yourself and on to the next one.

3) You like someone? Tell them. There is no rule on how you can and can't express your feelings, and telling someone you're dating that you like them is not creepy. Reacting like a 10 year old and running away is.

4) You have a question, ask. And I do not mean ask your friends. If you're going to your friends before just asking the person you're dating, you're already on the dangerous path of overthinking and overanalyzing. Guess what? Your friends will not have the answer. So stop wasting your time getting 500 different opinions, and go get the answers you deserve.

5) Plan your second date ASAP. I see this way too often: good first date, and then MIA for weeks with texting here and there. Whatever your gender is, ask to plan a second date. If 2 weeks pass by and there is still no second date, clearly someone is not interested, so read point #2 again, and on to the next one.

When You're in a Relationship: Delete Snapchat

Honestly, unless it is used for business purposes, I really think couples should not use Snapchat if they want to maintain a healthy relationship. Here's why:

1) It's sneaky AF and can be really misleading. Ex: bf has random girl in his top friends...only because he only snaps 2 people anyways and she gets added after she sends him a few in a row as she's partying and sending snaps to her whole list. Hello drama.

2) I really don't think regularly seeing selfies sent to you personally by other people is a healthy habit to have in a relationship, nor is it necessary.

3) We never really know what kinds of snaps our s/o is receiving, nor from whom, and more importantly, why? For some this can cause a lot of anxiety.

4) Our relationships suffer enough from all the other social media platforms, thanks.

5) Cherishing the time you're spending with your s/o is more important than snapchatting your dinner.

When You're Single: Why Online Dating is Great

There's nothing to be ashamed of, and I'm pretty sure 99% of adults have or are using either Tinder or other online dating platforms, and I recommend it 100% to anyone who is single and looking for a relationship.
Here are a few of my top reasons why it's great:

1) You have an amazing opportunity to meet people outside of your school/work/friends circle.

2) If things go south, there's a higher chance that you won't ever have to see them again/awkwardly share mutual friends.

3) You can afford to be more picky and have higher chances of meeting someone whose lifestyle is a better match to yours. First convo = Q/A session. Take advantage of it.

4) Not everyone is on there just to hook up. Trust me.

5) Dating is fun. Even if it ended after the first date, maybe you got to try a new restaurant, had a funny or weird conversation, and now you have a story to share with your friends.

6) It's better than meeting at a bar/club because a-you're sober and b-you can fully comprehend what the other person is saying (in most cases)

7) If you're an introvert, or if you're shy, it makes dating and meeting people a lot easier and can save you from unnecessary anxiety

8) You have nothing to lose. At least give it a try.

When You're Single: 5 Simple Tinder Tips

1) Choose pictures of you, and only you. This isn't a where's Waldo game and chances are some of your friends are hotter than you.

Source: instagram.com/tindernightmares

2) Take the conversation somewhere else. Hint: Facebook. Of course he/she picked the best 5 pics. Of course you need to see more, A LOT more, and also make sure they're not a catfish with 5 friends in total. Just ask to add them, you can always delete/block them afterwards.

3) Go on a date ASAP. Time is precious, don't waste it just by talking to someone you've never met for months. If it's been 1-2 weeks and you're interested, MEET IN PERSON. If you're not interested, then why the f are you still talking to them?!?

4) If it at all seems like they just wanna hook up with no strings attached, and that's not what you want, then either try number 3 above or stop wasting your time.

5) ONE person at a time. If you're talking to the same person for a few weeks and have a date planned. Just put the other convos on pause. Focus on that one person. If you're going into the date telling yourself that there are 5 other convos waiting for you anyways, chances are you might miss out on a great person because you were too focused on all the other "attention" you're getting. If the date doesn't work out, the convos will still be there and if you have to explain yourself then just tell the truth. Believe it or not, a decent person will actually respect you for dating only one person at a time.

When You're in a Relationship: Social Media Rules

Ladies and gents, lets put you all up to date with the rules to follow on social media when you're in a relationship.

I've avoided the obvious "don't message your ex" rule and focused on some that may not be so obvious to some people. They're not too hard to follow, and they could probably save you some arguments.

1) Both change your FB status to "in a relationship". It may not be necessary to tag the person, or share the event on your wall, but just make it clear for those who may still be curious. And guys, no need to wait for your gf to ask for it.

2) Post pictures of you with your s/o...on all platforms. I see a lot of guys who have pics with their gf on FB because she tagged them in them, yet their Instagram is filled with topless selfies and no gf in sight...Just do it here and there, no need to be having couple selfie photo shoots every night either.

3) Do not accept friend requests of the opposite sex if you do not know who they are. Please, we're not 14 anymore and FB was not invented yesterday, and you don't need 500 guys or girls that you don't even know.

4) Don't just talk to a "friend" of the opposite sex everyday on social media...If your s/o knows them and knows exactly how platonic your relationship is, it may be fine. If however this is just a random friend that you don't even see anymore, and you're just talking about random stuff just to talk, don't, just don't. 

5) Don't change your profile pic when you're in a fight. Really I mean what is that going to achieve in resolving your argument? 

6) Don't write nice things to or about your s/o after a fight is over. We're living enough through social media. Just tell them in person. It's way better for you, and way better for the rest of us who just don't care.

7) I don't think its really necessary to reply to random's (of the opposite sex) comments on Instagram...

8) If you're fighting, don't post quotes or lame pics to let the rest of us know you're having relationship problems. This is not what social media was made for. It's annoying. Please just read those to yourself if they make you feel better. 

9) Don't have/follow any of your ex's on social media. You're probably not friends anymore. So why the f do you need to be FB friends?!?! 

10) If you're fighting, and you're not together, and you're MIA (not answering calls or texts)...don't be active on social media, it's just f***ing aggravating. Call. Text. Go home and figure it out. Social media will always be there. Social media can wait. 

* Please note that in any case "of the opposite sex" can also be replaced by "of the same sex", depending on your sexuality.